Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I felt great after meeting with my grief counselor for the first time. It feels nice to talk about everything that happened that day, physically and emotionally. Now I will be sad to leave her when I move back to Michigan but she told me that moving back where family is, is the smartest decision I could make. I also asked her questions about her experience after her husband died. It is so awesome to talk to someone who can relate to my situation. Well, it's not awesome that anyone ever has to go through what I'm going through now... but she was there... two kids; her husband died violently in a helicopter crash... she knows what I'm going through. I can't wait to meet with her again next week.

I was kind of surprised that I didn't cry at all. Actually, I felt like I was smiling a lot. I was smiling when I told her about how we met. Smiling when I told her about Matt asking my dad for permission to marry me. Smiling when I told her about how Matt was there as my sponsor when I became Catholic. Despite the sadness that envelopes me, I still find joy in our memories and it feels so good to talk about them.

When I left, there were "stairways to heaven" coming from the clouds. Those hold a whole new meaning for me now.

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