Losing a loved one is something (almost) everyone goes through. Except for Matt. Matt never experienced grief to this degree. He was freed from the burden of bereavement and mourning in his lifetime. I never saw him grief-stricken. Ever. It was actually something we had talked about before. I pointed out how, since we had been together, neither of us had gone through losing a close family member. We just found it interesting that that was something we never experienced together.
I knew this was something I would inevitably have to experience (losing Matt). I just never expected it so soon. But it was inevitable... unless, of course, I passed away first. I would want that for myself if I was to be selfish... but knowing now what Matt would be feeling had that been the case, no... I wouldn't want that for him. I would never wish this feeling on anybody but unfortunately, it's a part of life. Death is a part of our lives. We all have to go through it and it hurts just the same.
"Therefore, just as through one person sin entered the world, and through sin, death, and thus death came to all, inasmuch as all sinned - for up to the time of the law, sin was in the world, though sin is not accounted when there is no law. But death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who did not sin after the pattern of the trespass of Adam, who is the type of the one who was to come."
It doesn't necessarily make this any easier but Romans Chapter 5 explains why death has been afflicted upon us and also provides hope and comfort.
"In conclusion, just as through one transgression condemnation came upon all, so through one righteous act acquittal and life came to all. For just as through the disobedience of one person the many were made sinners, so through the obedience of one the many will be made righteous. The law entered in so that transgression might increase but, where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through justification for eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." -Romans 5:18-21
I never knew how amazing the Bible was until now. It is hard to even describe how much God has helped me through this and continues to help me through this each day. But I guess my writing speaks for itself. My whole life, this is what I was missing. But I'm here now and even though it's a consequence of the greatest tragedy in my entire life... I'm thankful.
"Jesus spoke to them again, saying, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12