About this revelation I had last night while attending the support group... one of the people there mentioned that his daughter said 2011 was a great year. Even though she had lost her mom, a lot of other good things still happened.
Which got me thinking. I guess I still wouldn't describe 2011 as a "great" year. However, it was a very special year. It was the last seven months of Matt's life and I was there to spend it with him. We didn't know it would be the end, but we still made many good memories (the birth of Chloe, for one) and I'm happy and thankful for those seven months of 2011 that ended up being Matt's last. I kind of confused myself when I said that 2011 sucked and I have no reason to celebrate it and yet I was sad to leave it behind. Of course I was sad to leave it behind... 2011 contains my last memories of my "old" life. And that's something to be cherished. Okay, so the first half of 2011 was wonderful. The second half was very dark but very important and shaped who I am today. Just like everything that happens to us shapes the person we are. Most importantly, the second half of 2011 was the period in my life where I feel I truly found God. That should really surpass everything.
Back to the day-to-day... the kids seems to be doing fine in daycare. Although I feel that now Noah is starting to take on his own form of grief and only time will tell where that goes. I have been working through my grief since the day Matt died and yet... Noah is just beginning. I don't even know how it's going to unfold. Same with Chloe.
Anyway, I found a Bible verse I love today (another one):
"Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer." - Romans 12:12