I always had this fear of Matt getting into another car accident. It worried me to death. I always told him to be careful, drive safely, pay attention. And when he took our kids to daycare... triple panic. I was really worried then because if they all died I would be left with nothing. I would tell myself to relax. What are the odds something like that would happen? Now I know that isn't such a far cry from reality. Now I always have this thought in the back of my mind when someone else drives with my kids. If they got into an accident and died on top of losing Matt... I would really be left with nothing. I still tell myself to relax and not worry. But my fear is a little less "irrational" to me now than it was before.
Well, I have class in a few minutes. I wanted to get that dream down. And the night before, I had a dream where I was communicating to Matt in Heaven and he was describing the transition from Earth to Heaven... kind of. He was talking about purgatory. He said you only have to wait a little while. It depends on the good deeds you've done in your life. But it's not long before you see the glory of Heaven. There was something about good deeds "filling your cup". So strange... I don't know. Dreams are weird.