Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thanksgiving

When I first thought about Thanksgiving, I was sort of bitter and felt like it would be silly to be "thankful" for anything this year. But over time, I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for. If I had to choose one thing, it would be this:

I am thankful for the 11 years that I knew Matt and especially the last six years we shared our lives together. Matt truly made me a better person and still does today. He showed me God and introduced me to the Catholic faith. If it weren't for him, I don't know that I ever would have found God. He showed me what a good husband is. He was romantic, generous, faithful, supportive and worked hard to succeed for us. Now I could take nothing less. I would never replace him but if one day someone might come along... I know what a good husband is and I have very high standards. ;)

He also showed me what a good daddy is. In the 22 brief months that he was a dad, he was such a fun, energetic and devoted dad. He was so proud of our kids. He would come home from work every day and talk to me about how he showed pictures of the kids to the people at his doctor's offices and tell them all the wonderful things they were doing. I know that 22 months was far too brief, but I'm thankful that he was able to experience being a dad at all because I know how much he wanted that. I will never forget the sound of his voice saying, "We have a little boy!" when I gave birth to Noah. The first thing he did was walk over to me and give me a kiss (yes, he watched him come out).

And from there, our two beautiful children who are living pieces of Matt. I breathe a sigh of relief every time I think about them. I still have Matt with me in Noah and Chloe. There are no words to reflect just how thankful I am for that.

I count my blessings every day.

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