Thursday, October 6, 2011

To whoever posted this comment:

Anony on Sep 28, 2011 at 09:28 AM
He was texting. His cell phone was found by troopers in his lap and phone records indicate this as well. His wife's blog says so.

I would appreciate it if you could respectfully retract and/or amend it so that it's accurate and true. Here is the post to which I believe you're referring:

Nowhere did I say he was texting. Actually, I know he wasn't texting because there are no texts in his inbox or his drafts anywhere near that point in time. There are no phone records indicating such a thing (or any calls, for that matter).

I don't mind if things from my blog are shared elsewhere... when those things are true. If this only had to do with me, I would let it go but it's not only an inaccurate remark about what I said... it's an inaccurate remark about what I said of my husband and that's what I don't like.

Matt was distracted. This is the most blatantly obvious fact of the entire situation. It was a clear and sunny day down a straight stretch of road and he didn't even look up in time enough to touch his brakes (according to witness statements). All you have to do is look out the window for one second, at 70 mph, that covers 102 feet. Two seconds... three seconds... you get the idea. A lot of ground is being covered in a short amount of time. There were 25 ft. of yaw marks before impact. That means he looked up and saw the tractor 0.2 seconds before the collision.

Every driver gets distracted and I believe many drivers get distracted on the highway because they assume everyone is going fast, and it's wide open with no traffic lights. Whether that distraction is the radio, a billboard, an animal, another car, anything. With Matt, I just happen to think it was his phone because it was between his legs, the screen is shattered, the top half of the cover came off and it's covered in blood. Whether he was checking the forecast or listening to music, I don't know. But I do know that it wasn't a text or a phone call. Whatever it was, it just happened at the exact wrong time.

It's just my theory. When your spouse gets killed in a car accident that could easily have been avoided... and you have no idea why it wasn't avoided, you want the answer more than anything in the world. Even if that means speculating and forming a theory that may or may not be true.


  1. I am so sorry that had to clean up the incorrect mess of a statement that the anonymous person wrote.

    You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. (((hugs))) all drivers get distracted. We'd be lying if we said we didn't ever fiddle with the radio or look at our phones. I have been thinking about you and you are still in my prayers.

  3. I hope whoever wrote that statement reads your post today and reads this comment: Shame on you. Who are you to add more hurt to a situation you are not a part of (because you are unmistakably NOT a friend or a caring stranger). Throwing "mud" incorrectly is what a child does when they are upset. Apparently you are an adult with hurtful, misunderstood opinions of the situation.
    We all get distracted when we drive and just because my cell is close, does not mean I'm using it. I drive 1.5 hours per day and it only takes seconds to look at a billboard, the car next to me instead of in-front of me, the animal on the edge of the road I'm avoiding, etc. It only takes seconds.
    Anonymous person, retract your statement.
    Steph, we love you and think about and pray for you daily.

  4. So sorry you had to deal with this insensitive person. The previous comments are so accurate, everyone is guilty of distracted driving and anyone who says differently is lying as another person in the vehicle is a simple distraction. Prayers and Hugs to you !!

  5. Even if he was txting, for that poster to say that was heartless. You still lost your husband & your children lost their father. Making it a point to say that won't bring him back or make things different. My father died when I was 15 of cancer. No on threw in my face that he smoked. No one should. I'm so deeply sorry for your families loss. I'll keep you & your children in my prayers for peace & understanding. It's never anything you get over you just get used to it.

  6. Thank you for your perspective, Megzway. That is a logical way to look at it. It's easy for people to write insensitive things when they are behind a computer screen; things they would NEVER say to my face. So I have let a lot of those comments go but that one I could not.