He is waiting for me on the other side.

I am just waiting for that day when I get to meet him there. We're both waiting. I don't care how long it takes. Just knowing that I will be there one day is enough. I can't live here forever.

I have spent so many hours pondering the meaning of life. I think the meaning of life is to bring out the best in others. There's more to that, of course. I presumably have many more hours to continue thinking about the meaning of life.

I have an appointment set up to attend a "new member meeting" at a grief support center in Grand Rapids. I'm really excited about it. The meeting is on the 26th. A couple of other things I need to get lined up are 1.) a counselor and 2.) a will. Oh... and 3.) daycare.

I found the YouTube account that Matt created, finally. I couldn't remember our username and he was the one who always uploaded the vids. But since they changed their layout and connected to Google... well, I must have been signed into Matt's Google account and I found it. So I was able to link the video bar to the right to our account and I uploaded all the videos that were on Matt's phone that weren't yet on there. Two are of Chloe - Matt talking to her. How special it will be for her to have those. So now they are over there on the side, all in one place. I just need to find the charger to our camcorder because there is a lot more footage that I can't wait to see. One I remember specifically is Matt "interviewing" me at the hospital the night before I had Noah. There's also one I can think of where we are just being silly in the kitchen. I'm so glad he bought that thing. He bought it in 2009 because we were having a baby.

Kristen and I are going to get pedicures today. Some lovely girl time. :) She is home for Christmas break and it makes me happy. Love you, Kristen!