Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Sometimes I just want to scream, "I EFFING HATE FACEBOOK!"

Whyyyy must I torture myself? Why is it so addicting? Why can't I just delete it and walk away forever? It's an unstoppable force. The only people who coul
d ever possibly understand the torture that is Facebook are my fellow widows, which is a horrible, depressing and painful group to be a part of and I wish I was the only one in this club but... we help each other so I guess it's a good thing I'm

Chloe turned one on Saturday. I was sad all day long but no one there would have ever known it because I put on a smiley, happy face and act like I love my life.
Matt saw one birthday.

And the way pictures upload on this thing is so messed up so if this looks like a jumbled mess (it will), I'm sorry.

So one birthday... do you think I could ever stop thinking about that? Nope. It's pretty much all I thought about during Chloe's party. So I compensated for my mental absence by keeping as busy as I could and throwing Chloe a super awesome birthday party with a baller cake and unnecessary details for a first birthday party. But she had a tough year and she doesn't even know it. The "theme" was nautical but there was something more to it. I used the anchor symbol throughout because the anchor is the symbol of hope. Hebrews 6:19

Anyway, I need to wrap this up so I can get to my biology lab. Her party turned out fabulous, I was sad, the kids were happy so that's all that really matters, and... I miss Matt.

Oh, fun tidbit: In these photos of Noah's first birthday party, I was about three months pregnant with little Chlo-Chlo. :)


  1. I hate facebook, too. And e-mail.

    It sounds (and looks) like Chloe had a nice birthday. I understand where you're coming from, on your internal emotions. I feel the same way about a lot of things. Still have a lot of frustration and anger to deal with. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. you're an awesome mom...someday they will know just how awesome :) they will see how strong you are for them! I thought about you on saturday, wondered how the party went and how hard it must have been...you are amazing Stephanie, in every way

  3. Happy Birthday to Chloe! ...just a side note, I deleted my facebook about 3 months ago, you can imagine why, I think people live a second life called, "facebook life", its like the fantasy life they wish to live or something. Keeping you in my prayers always!