First, a memory came to me on Saturday night while I was driving Chloe to sleep. Yes, driving her to sleep. Weaning sucks. I remember when I got fired from the first job I had in North Carolina. I was mortified at the time, of course. I made a simple mistake and I was fired for it. I accidentally failed to separate a piece of mail that went to the opposing party in a case when it shouldn't have. In biological terms, that would be called a nondisjunction, when speaking of chromosomal mutations. I ended up writing a letter of apology to the attorney and everything.
Besides all that useless information, I'll get to my point. Worse than the actual state of being fired was the fact that I was going to have to go home and tell my husband. I thought for sure he was going to kill me. I came home in tears and he was already there (I loved it when I came home to him, although not this particular day). He asked me what was wrong and I couldn't yet get it out through my sobs. He was nothing but compassionate and concerned and when I finally told him... it was more of a, "That's it?" kind of response. Evidently, I acted dramatic enough for him to think I was in an accident or something. He hugged me, said it was okay and everything would be fine.
That's pretty much it. I was just remembering how sweet and supportive he was after I got fired for the first time ever (and hopefully the last, especially considering the field I'm about to enter in a couple years). When we were alone in North Carolina starting our new life together... he was my main man. Not just my husband but my best friend, my everything. It was great.
While pondering this lovely memory, I decided to drive to McDonald's for a flurry. Who knew that McDonald's didn't even carry chocolate ice cream? Apparently I'm an idiot. So my chocolate M&M flurry turned into a regular M&M flurry but that's okay I suppose. I guess there are worse things in life, heh.
I found the time to write this blog today because my anatomy professor has not yet posted the outlines for chapters beyond what we have covered so far. There's nothing worse than having time to get ahead and not being able to do it. I'm too Type A to go through the next chapters without the outline. It must be done a certain way. I start organic chemistry tomorrow, which will kick off the next six weeks of insanity. My Tuesdays and Thursdays will be completely filled 9:00am-8:00pm. I'm not looking forward to it but at least it's only for the next six weeks.
Back to this dream I had last night. It was a dream within a dream. I believe Inception would call that going to the second level? Anyway, that's what I did. Usually, Matt will come to me in my dreams but this time, I went to him. I was approaching the moon... and as I got closer, the moon turned into a bright light. I knew then where I was going. I wondered how I could be dead because I didn't feel like I was dead. I felt completely normal except for the fact that I was flying toward the moon. But it was a great feeling. So as soon as I went into the light I just felt so warm and peaceful... happy. I found myself in a bright, warm, wide open area above the clouds. I could see various people here and there. Floating around, socializing, doing this and that. I was flying and then Matt appeared right in front of me. He was so happy, so at ease. And the part that bothers me about this dream is that there was some very important dialogue and I can't remember it to save my own life (if that were literal, that would be okay). I remember he had a smile on his face, we talked, we kissed, and then there came a point where I just knew I had to go. I didn't want to go but something was making me go. Matt remained happy and we knew we'd see each other again. I remember being pulled away and then I woke up with a jolt! Now we are back to the first level. I'm still dreaming. I woke up in my dream and flew out of bed because it was after 10:00 and my psychology exam was at 9:00. I had to find someone to watch the kids but even by the time I got to campus, only having two hours to complete the exam, I would never make it. I was trying to figure this out and then I realized that my exam was on Tuesday and it was only Monday. And then I finally woke up for real... into my real life. It was only 8:09am.
That dream within my dream was incredible and it's dreams like those that make think, "I can't wait until I die." And I can't. It's going to be amazing.