Sunday, July 15, 2012
Who is it?
God allowed my heart to open up to the opportunity of falling in love again when He knew the time was right. It took me by complete surprise and I tried to convince myself I was getting mixed up in the wrong kind of emotions. I would be lying if I said it wasn't frustrating. It frustrated the hell out of me. That's how I knew that it was real.
I know that there is no better person in this world to fill the role of father to Noah and Chloe. The fact that I know Matt would agree with me leaves me with a feeling of joy that I never thought I would feel again.
I feel as though it didn't take me long after Matt died to know that I did, one day, want to be in love again. I wanted to be someone's everything. I longed to utilize all I had learned about love from death and make someone's life amazing. I guess I never realized before Matt that when you sign up to love someone, you sign up to see them to their death. It actually happens (who knew?). I have that very real perspective now (sometimes it's overkill but I can't help it). Anyway, I didn't know when the time would be "right". Well, God has definitely shown me that that time is now and I'm loving every minute of it. I think it's the beginning of a beautiful life.
Suddenly that song for which I felt such disdain almost a year ago doesn't seem so bad anymore.
My prayers were filled with thanks 11 months ago and they are filled with thanks now. Turn to God in devastation, turn to God in prosperity. Always turn to God.