My light

In a world filled with corruption, infidelity, manipulation, dishonesty...

Matt was my knight in shining armor. He was my best friend. My rock. I know (knew) he would never hurt me or leave me. He was my light in a world filled with darkness. I could always depend on him.

On this DVD of his entitled "Original Songs", there is a folder called "Incomplete". It's just a bunch of songs, recordings, poems, etc. he never finished. There is a song in there called I Love from 2005.

[Edit: I found a complete version of the song... even better!]

I Love

By; Matt Hales

Verse:

G B/G C/G Dsus2

I love you for, your care-free soul,

G B/G C/G Dsus2

When you call, “do you need anything”

G B/G C/G Dsus2

Your desire to take care of me

G B/G C/G Dsus2

You are the fire and the light of my eyes

Pre-Chorus:

C/G Dsus2 G F#/G Em

Wrap your arms around me, so I may feel your touch

C/G Dsus2

Enfold myself in you, I become lost

Verse 2:

G B/G C/G Dsus2

For cognizance of the arts

G B/G C/G Dsus2

Music, art, film, your fascination in wine

G B/G C/G Dsus2 G

The questions you have, about God and his work in our lives

B/G C/G Dsus2

I love you,

Pre-Chorus 2:

Chorus:

Em C G F#/G

I love you more than the stars in the sky

Em C G Dsus2

More than the moon, that you make me fly by

Em C G F#/G

When you look in, into my eyes I get

Em C G Dsus2 C/G Dsus2

Lo---st, your beauty captures my soul – I beg of you – Hypnotize me tonight

Verse 3:

G B/G C/G Dsus2

I love you for those midnight reminders

G B/G C/G Dsus2

That keep me from a hospital bed

G B/G C/G Dsus2 G

The way you gently wipe the sleep from my eyes

B/G C/G Dsus2 G F#/G

Proclaiming they’re the only pair you can see

Pre-Chorus 3:

Em C/G G F#/G Em

Gaze into each other’s eyes for hours on end

Em C/G G Dsus2

That look tells me you love me, I need not hear your words

Chorus:

Bridge 1: Instrumental

Bridge 2: With harmonics

You are

the air I breathe

The water I drink

The blanket that warms me

Without you, I’d suffocate

Dehydrate or freeze

Without you

Without you I would bleed

Bridge:

Chorus (Alt lyrics):

I love your sensual touch

When you ask me to play for you

We kiss, and our lips become one

I love these things about you and more

In so many ways

I love you

"Your midnight reminders that keep me from the hospital" ~ He is talking about me reminding him to take his seizure medication at night. He was supposed to take it around the same times every day.

I took a life lesson from the movie My Best Friend's Wedding (great movie). It's when Michael and Julianne are on the boat and he says, "When you feel something you say it right then and there or else the moment just passes you by." Don't hate on the fact that that came from a chick flick. It's a good chick flick. And it's a good piece of advice. I've always tried to live by it and I am glad I have. Anytime I thought about how much I loved Matt, I told him as soon as the thought entered my mind. And he did the same for me. Now he's gone. But I will always remember doing that. I will especially always the remember the random times he would tell me sweet things. It's the most simple thing, telling the person you love how you feel. I didn't tell him I loved him that morning but I've come to realize that it doesn't matter. Because if I had, it would have been more of a routine thing. The moments where I truly spoke from my heart are the moments that really matter.

"Note: Book"

I remembered a short while ago that Matt had a Yahoo account. So I hacked into it (not really) and looked at his "sent" folder. Yes, I do feel weird going through his stuff. But I found some notes he sent to himself from his old phone. This is his first memory after his car accident in 2000. I think he wanted to write a book about his recovery, hence the subject line. So here is this little piece I found:

Note: Book
Date: Dec 10, 2009
Category: Book

Note: Book

Colors and shapes faded in and out on a wall full of reminders of the life I once lived. The urge to urinate was at the front of my mind, so I turned to the right, to find my father who was fast asleep in a cot, nestled against the windowthat overlooked a dimly-lit parking lot.

I called out to him, "dad." but a weak jumble of sound was all that came out.

I decided to let him sleep and shoved the bedsheet to the left as I slid my right foot to the side of the bed. I snapped the safety gate down, which awoke my dad. As my right foot landed on the cold floor, my father said "Matt, wait!." while he ran out the the room calling for help, I swung my left leg off the edge of the bed. I held on to the bed for a moment to allow myself to get oriented.

I let go of the bed and crumbled to the floor.


------------------------------------------

My father and a women ran to me, lifted me up and walked me to the bathroom, where I sat on the cold toilet seat. After urinating, I was helped back to my bed.

On the way to the bed, I passed a full mirror and saw a reflection that wasn't mine. It looked like a shell of a young man. His face appeared to be sunken in, blotchy, and his once perfect hair was lopsided. His long legs were lke the legs of a spider and his arms were like two twigs. It was me.

in my neck, there was a hole with a clamp. I touched it. Somehow I knew something happened to me, but I had no idea what caused me to be the stranger I saw in the mirror.

I was abruptly awoken early the following morning by my parents. I wished I could sleep more, but a woman in her twenties steppped out from the hall and said good morning.

I smiled as she introduced herself and walked over to my bedside. She helped me to the shower, where I undressed and was seated on a wheelchair.

the shower started and as I began to wash myself, embarrassment flooded my mind as the women helped wash my frail body.

Under normal circumstances I wouldve loved the position I was in, but the formerly smooth guy with the muscular body and perfect hair didn't exist. I hardly had the strength to lift my arms. How did I get here?




-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Sharing is caring.

This is an excerpt taken from another version of the essay Matt wrote about his first car accident.

"Because of what happened, I've learned the biggest lesson of my life: Never take the people and the things that you have for granted. I did and sometimes find myself doing the same thing now. I try as hard as possible to keep from doing this because they all were almost taken away.

It's very sad that it took a car accident that nearly killed me to change my views on my family and friends, but above all, God. I thank God and everyone involved in my recovery. Without them, I'd be nothing. Life is not just a sad excuse for doing nothing until you die. Life is the most precious gift you can receive and I'm grateful that I still have mine."

I am slowly getting closer to having school sorted out. I applied to GRCC and Davenport for nursing. The only thing about Davenport is that it will be SO FAR AWAY from where we will be living this winter. But the nursing program there might not have a wait as long as CC's. I'm just keeping my options open. I will likely go ahead and get on the waiting list at CC while taking any of the pre-nursing classes I will need, and also get my BLS certification. If I get through that and I'm still waiting, depending on how long it looks like I have left, I could go through with the EMS academy. If I really want to be a flight nurse one day, EMS might be a good thing to have on the resume. We'll see! I'm just trying to take one thing at a time.

I have so many little things to do. Although I did get MI auto insurance today so that can be checked off the list. Once I have that and documents from SS with my new address, I will finally be able to change my driver's license and plate.

Nothing really special or insightful to say today. I had a pretty good day. No tears. I just think to myself every day how therapeutic Petoskey is. All I have to do is look out the window over the lake. It's beautiful. I see God's magnificence everywhere I look. I still gaze at the clouds and think Matt is out there somewhere. And one day we'll be together again.

I really need to get to bed. I overslept today and I didn't take a nap and I think tomorrow will definitely be a late-morning-nap kind of day. I try to wake up at 7:00 every morning so I can have Noah to daycare between 8:00-8:30. But I'm such a night owl these days... 7:00 used to be easy, now... not so much.

I haven't seen Matt in my dreams lately... of course, I haven't been sleeping well lately either. That probably doesn't help.

A Personal Essay by Matt (2002)

This is a memoir written by Matt after achieving a great goal following his recovery.

"I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature." -John D. Rockefeller

"Shot-gun!" I called out, and grinned at Berk. "Matt!" Berk shouted and stomped his foot hard on the pavement, while Scott chuckled. That's the last memory I have from June 2nd up until sometime around the 6th of July. Sometimes I think I can remember the car accident or being in the hospital, but I'm never really sure. Are those vivid pictures in my mind real, or only imagined after being told of what had happened to me?

While in the hospital my friends, family, and even strangers prayed for me. They knew that I could get through the coma and my injuries. I sustained a left parietal lobe hemorrhage, and a left orbital fracture to my skull. One of my doctors told my mom and dad that he didn't think I would survive. Well, I did more than survive. Through hard work and determination I climbed my way out of the three-week coma. I was released from the hospital July 5th, but I still had to learn to walk, talk, and eat again, so I was transferred to Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation Center. The doctors predicted I would need at least five to eight weeks of inpatient rehabilitation. I was discharged after three weeks, once again overcoming all odds.

After returning full time to Rockford High School, my next goal that nearly everyone thought was impossible was to earn my varsity letter again in swimming. The season started in November, and ended at the beginning of March. My times wouldn't budge throughout the season, no matter how hard I tried. I was beginning to lose the confidence I needed to get my letter. I knew that everyone would understand if I couldn't reach my varsity letter time; everyone except me.

It was the beginning of March, and I was facing the last opportunity of the swim season to earn my letter. I found myself standing on a starting block, overlooking twenty-five yards of water. The adrenaline surged through my body as Coach yelled, "Go!" I leapt off of the block with every ounce of energy stored in my anxious legs and swam harder than I thought possible. I went through the first turn, then the second and third. Nearing my last turn I took a breath before the flags and saw Coach Seifert telling me to push as hard as possible. I came out of the turn and saw my teammates cheering me on, as well as my friends who watched from the stands. It came down to the last second, and I hit the wall. Taking a deep breath, I looked up and heard everyone clapping with energy and joy. I did it. Only nine months after lying in a coma, I earned my varsity letter. There are no words to describe how I felt that day. That was the day that I knew I could do everything I had before the accident, and more.

Now I stand on the starting block that overlooks the next great challenge of my life - college. I will approach my studies and education with the same determination and sense of purpose that I did during my recovery from my injuries.

Once, I took life for granted. On June third in the year two thousand, that changed forever. I know now that life is a gift. I also know that with faith, hard work, and perseverance I can accomplish anything.