All in all, things have been good. I get teary-eyed randomly here and there, which is a pretty normal part of my life nowadays. I'm sure it always will be. I still get a sense that Matt is with me at sporadic times throughout the day. It's crazy stuff. I'm going crazy. But as long as my craziness doesn't interfere with school then whatever. The kids already make me crazy so that's a separate department.
I'm trying to get everything sorted out for my schedule for summer, fall and winter. I can't believe this semester is already almost over. I will be taking a class or two at GRCC in order to be eligible to apply to nursing school next fall. I will either have to take anatomy or microbiology there and then whichever one I don't take there, I will be taking at GVSU. It's kind of a cluster because I'm currently enrolled for organic chem at GVSU with a really good professor... that also comes with a lab. But GRCC doesn't offer anatomy 2 at a time that works for me so I called my adviser to see if I can take anatomy 1 at CC and anatomy 2 at GV. If not, then I will be forced to drop the chem class with the awesome professor and take it at CC instead... and then take anatomy 1 and 2 and GV this summer and fall. Whatever, I'm rambling and this stuff is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
I guess I don't have a ton going on right now. Just keeping busy with school and planning Chloe's birthday party which is on Saturday! I got a 94% on my chem exam last week and I'm waiting for my psych prof to post grades from the exam we had on Monday... fingers crossed!
Lastly, this song was on Matt's iPod and he said the lyrics always reminded him of me after his first car accident:
Scene begins as a telephone rings.
Chokes a gasp at the awful news it brings.
A phone call she's been avoiding.
She knows he's reached the end.
Hooked up to the respirator.
It breaths life into my callused lungs.
My heart beats getting fainter.
I know my time has come.
It's getting colder
been trying to show her
that I'm not the one
to be there beside her now
I'm crossing over
can no one console her
alone she'll remain
with no way to end this pain.
Now I realize the things that I
(All of the things that I wanted in this world)
the things I have done to you
(What have I done to you)
why you gave your love with all your heart.
(Hands went way to fast)
With all that a heart could give.
Intentions that you'll never know
the reason why I have to lead astray
I gave you a life time of pain and remorse
(Mistakes that were never yours)
the wrong in my life can never be right.
(It flashes before my eyes)
(How did he come to this,
His mind is working harder than ever before.
Thousands of thoughts in seconds.
His last thoughts were of her,
and how he and he alone had destroyed the once
vibrant spirit he had coveted so deeply.
The last pain he had ever caused is to the only
woman that had ever loved him...)
Bright light is calling me upward.
(All alone)
I follow and leave you below
(A ghost for now)
Now you're all alone.
(All alone)
And I leave you with nobody by your side.
(A ghost for now)
Not to hurt you ever again
(All alone)
Never break your spirit for me.
(A ghost for now)
Now I'm all alone.
(All alone)
Still I cherish the things that you have given to me.
(A ghost for now)
Bright light is calling me upward
(All alone)
I follow and leave you below
(A ghost for now)
Now
A Thorn For Every Heart - Things Aren't So Beautiful Now
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