Feel everything

I returned to that funeral home yesterday in loving support of a classmate whose life has just been unexpectedly shattered, as mine was, five years ago. I get tears in my eyes just thinking (and “writing”) about this shitshow she has been thrown into without warning; the chaos, the unknown, the lonely darkness that is felt no matter how many people wrap their arms around you in the days and weeks following the loss of half your soul. I wish I could take it all away. We were never close, but I can say for certain that I have never felt empathy to this extent. Despite having walked amidst such a tragedy myself, I still don’t know if I did or said the “right” things. All I know is that I took cues from all the love and kindness that was shown to me in the past and hoped that it provided some comfort, even if only for a minute. I just had not stopped thinking about her and her precious children ever since I saw the news and I am glad that I was able to embrace her and speak with her at the visitation. May they continue to be lifted up and comforted during this excruciating process of mourning. :(

“I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.” -Alfred Tennyson