It's so distant!

That life I once had... seems so far away.  I have flashbacks every day of the little things.  Just the way Matt looked at me, the way he talked, how he felt when he hugged me.  It is hard to hold onto all those little things.  My worst fear was forgetting.  But I imagine it's hard not to forget those things after this much time has passed.  I still can't believe I haven't seen him in over a year.  Well, 13 months today to be exact.  In fact, right about now was the time I was stepping out of my office building to face everything that my new life would bring without Matt. 

I was thinking about how precious life is during my eight-mile run today.  I was just appreciating it.  I was thinking about all the things that can be accomplished in one lifetime.  And all the things that can't when it's cut short.  I hope that Matt knows he lives in my heart every single day and that I carry him with me everywhere I go.