Friday, February 15, 2013

It was a good day.  I started out Valentine's Day with Noah's party at his daycare.  That was relatively fun.  He's at the age now where fun things like this become somewhat more interactive.  They passed out their Valentines to all their little friends, decorated cookies (and ate them) and... that was pretty much it.  Still fun. :)  I love how excited Noah gets about fun little holidays like Valentine's Day.

Then I had a dentist appointment... no cavities so that's always a plus.  Especially considering I don't have dental insurance.  I finally made an appointment for Noah to go with me at my next checkup and then he will have his teeth cleaned.  The appointment isn't until August so  I think by then, he will be okay.  I think even now if he were to go to the dentist he would do fine.

I was starving by the time I was finished at the dentist so I thought I would treat myself to something special (the boyfriend was working all day).  I felt guilty at the thought of getting some fabulous Thai food at this restaurant we both love in East Grand Rapids... without getting some for him, as well.  I thought Valentine's Day is all about doing awkward things.  SO I picked some food up for both of us and went to bring it to him at his office... and waited... and waited... and waited some more.  I knew he had clients through the lunch hour and then finally he was finished.  I devoted my time to deliver lunch to my pseudo-hubby after his super busy day.  Complete with a sarcastic/cheesy Valentine's Day card.  Couldn't help myself.

I thought I would for sure bring some flowers to my late husband's grave and say a prayer, meditate, etc.  But I ended up not having time.  We invited my mom over for dinner and Chloe's classroom party was at 4:00 so I went straight back to the daycare from the boyfriend's office.  There are just not enough hours in the day.  I would like to start updating my blog more, as well.  It's something I think about often.

Speaking of the blog, I have been contemplating changing the "aura" of it.  When I started this blog, it was an outlet for me.  A place to express my deepest emotions following the loss of my husband.  It wasn't only for myself, but for anyone else who might be experiencing a loss of their own.  I am so far beyond that point in my life that I've been thinking about changing it ever so slightly to focus more on life after loss.  I would like it to circulate more around the idea that normal life after losing your other half IS possible... and maybe every now and then reminisce about those dark days and share what helped me through it.  I think about July 20, 2011 almost every day, if not every day, and although it was such a heartwrenching day, it was also such a pivotal time in my life.  It's just amazing how everything... every blessing, every tragedy, every challenge, every accomplishment... has brought me to where I am at this very moment and I wouldn't change a thing about it.  God is good.